You’d Be A Great Mom

Has anyone ever told you you would be a great podiatrist? How about a great pilot? Or maybe that you’d be a fabulous super model?

Suppose you have a horrible foot phobia, you’re afraid of flying, or you’re 5’2, and sane enough to know modeling is unlikely at best.

So then you stop to wonder- why did they suggest podiatry? Is it because I showed extraordinary empathy over their corns and calluses? Is it my love of travel that they believe would make me a confident and capable pilot? Am I just so strikingly beautiful that they feel I need to be on a display for all the world to see?

How about this idea that gets thrown around with even less thought than where to go for dinner: you’d be a great mom.

Is it because I’m kind-natured, responsible, and I love animals?

You'd be a great mom

Is it because I’m a married thirty-something from the South with friends who all have babies or want babies? Is it because I seem to sort of have my life together?


The reality is if you start a career and then down the road decide it’s not for you, you can change your path, even if it entails spending lots of time and money on a new degree. Also, if you decide you don’t want the attention anymore, you can walk away from the runway.

If your spouse loses his or her mind, you can walk. If anything or anyone in your life is harmful spiritually or physically, with some courage, you can leave. And that is amazingly empowering to me. Like, unbelievably cool.

St John blog

Am I the only person in the world who stops to consider that if you’re “a great mom,” these children that you parent are forever? Am I the only crazy person who thinks about how drastically life would change? Could I be the only person who worries that the little human could reek havoc on my marriage, my coveted sleep schedule, and my ability to have options that are freeing and empowering?

St John USVI

I am constantly overwhelmed just contemplating the finality of the decision to “be a great mom.”

I suppose “you would be a great mom” could be one of the kindest complements someone could offer. The thoughtful individual obviously feels that you are capable of producing, growing, and molding a human life, which must be the scariest of all responsibilities (except for maybe examining foot fungus). That said, I’m not out fishing for compliments. However, if someone wants to hire me as a super model, I suppose I can make myself available.

Ashley cates blog

Ashley Cates, St John USVI Blogger

  • Mika
    June 17, 2016

    I’ve not been told that, but close. “You’d be a great dad” mostly from what I think are women who would like to be great moms.

    But. Alas, I am a selfless person. I know I don’t want to be a dad, which would probably make me a terrible dad, so I do my best to choose not to be one. I’m having a hard enough time adulting, let alone trying to teach someone else how to do it.

    BTW, great blog! STJ is a fantastic island, and it has been high on our list but just hasn’t quite been “the” place for us.

    • Ashley
      September 14, 2016

      Hi Mika! Love your comments. Thanks so much for sharing. Maybe St John will make the cut for a vacation destination for you soon!

  • Emilie
    May 3, 2016

    Stumbled upon this post, thank you for putting these words out there!! I am also an animal loving -relatively successful -happily married 30 something and dont have the baby itch/gene. Always getting the pressure from society and strangers. Again -lovely post !

    • Ashley
      May 3, 2016

      Thanks Emilie! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and could relate. Fur babies are the best!

  • Ashley
    February 25, 2016

    Aww, Amy! So good to hear from you! Thanks for your kind words… Writing is definitely a passion, and writing from the heart is good for the soul. I love seeing your sweet pictures as well. We still have your card on the fridge! Miss you too :)

  • Blain
    February 24, 2016

    Ashley, this is my favorite post yet because I love that you speak truth into every sentence and are not afraid to say it!

    • Ashley
      February 24, 2016

      Hi Blain! Thanks for your kind words and feedback. Might as well speak from the heart or not at all, right? It feels to good to share some of this more “fragile” information. Hope all is well. Love seeing your pictures!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *